Inner Discussions

I recently told a friend of mine that I have these inner discussions with myself, such as "Why didn't I bring a razor with me this week" or "Do you think that guy is wearing a wig". Now this friend makes fun of me for asking myself useless questions during the day. I was just wondering if anyone else finds themselves asking useless questions during the day and if you tell other people about it? I hope that I am not the only one.

Yegg........

I can not believe that yegg got away with so much money!

This being the first installment of my word of the day I want you to try and figure the meaning of yegg out before I go and tell you........I can't wait any longer! It means safecracker, also: robber. I thought that those of you who used to work with me at the spur would appreciate my first word.

Now, on to more pressing topics. As I was waiting in the security check line at the airport today I saw several families leaving for vacation. While standing there I thought to myself.......if I every have kids will I allow my daughters to dress like prostitots? It really bothers me to see teen-age girls dressed like they are heading out to work their street corner. Do parents just not care what their children wear any more? Or, are they all secretly blind but continue to get their drivers licesnse renewed?

In addition to dressing like a street walker, what is up with the mushroom top, which is more specifically the fat role that is hanging out over the painted on pants/skirts that these girls wear. Do kids not exercise any more?

I guess I missed the memo that was sent out nation wide OK'ing the inappropriate dress attire of this younger generation. Right now though, the only thing that is really scaring me is how much I sound like my parents.

Word of the Day

After a conversation I had last night I have decided that I must start subscribing to the Merriam Webster word of the day. I used the word sketchy to describe some neighbors of mine and this other person questioned whether I used the word correctly. Of course I immediately came home and got on the internet and looked it up......yep I used it correctly. However, it was then and there that I decided that I need to expand my knowledge of odd/seldom used words. Get ready because once I start getting the word of the day I intend on sharing it with my readers. I hope you find it useful.

Questions....

2 post in one night, this is a first for me. But I was just sitting here thinking about something. Why do I go to bed with my hair wet? Doesn't this up my chances for getting a cold?

Sitting at home and loving every minute of it!

Here I sit, on a Wednesday night, at home typing away for the masses. I had the oppertunity to go out and have drinks with some friends, which would have ended up as to many drinks and a bad morning tomorrow. I won't lie to you guys, I have not learned what moderation is; therefore, I have learned to go without drinking. Some would say this is just old age creaping up on me others would say "it is about time that you stop drinking."

I hope you don't think that I have a problem because trust me I don't. I just like a cocktail every now and then. And the cocktails love me! I have learned to tell Jack & Coke, Crown, and even Wild Turkey that we can no longer be friends. But that pesky beer just doesn't get the hint.

Hopefully one day I will learn moderation but until then I will have to say farewell to some of my old friends (hard liquor). Until we meet again...........

30 going on 13

When am I going to grow up? This is the question I ask myself every day. I am 30 years old yet I continue to act like a teenager. Here is the back story to my saga........A nice guy asked for my number so I reluctantly gave it to him. He just called and I just sat here and didn't answer the phone. What is wrong with me? Why didn't I answer the phone and talk to him like an adult should? He is gainfully employeed and owns his own home, which is more than I can say for some the losers I have dated in the past. He has a genuine interest in me!! Am I so affraid of commitment that I can't even answer the phone? I think I would like to go on a date with this guy but I guess I will never know since I can't even answer the phone.

Fitness

First off you have to know how much I love to people watch. A few of my favorite places to people watch are fairs/parks, sports events, and fitness centers. The following event took place at a fitness center.

I was on the treadmill the other night, the only one in the room at the time. A few older ladies enter and get on a stairmaster, which was hilarious itself. The next character walks in, checks himself out in the mirrors, goes over to a treadmill, tires to program in what he wants to do, then finally checks out all of the ladies in the area. This guy, I swear to you, had oiled himself down with baby oil before he came to work out! I am pretty sure that he also shaves his entire body. He is over there on a treadmill trying to run (it was obviously his first time running in quite some time) with a wife beater, some way to short shorts, and grey dress socks on. I was about to fall off my own treadmill from laughing to much. After about 15 minutes on the treadmill he moves on to weights, which were not his strong suite either. This guy made it worth going to the gym that night.

Here is a question for all. Why is it that older men can look at themselves in a mirror and think "OH YAH! I look good", when clearly they look like an idiot. Come on guys........

Unoriginal

I am stealing a page from my friends miss timber and princess peggy today. Ever since I read their past blogs I have caught myself just sitting around at work thinking about odd things. I then write them down and now I am going to share them with you.

1. When I eat, and people watch me, do they think I chew funny? Because I think I chew funny.
2. Why did they name it Fanta?
3. I didn't realize that cleaning with to much ammonia would cause the skin on my hands to peal, my question is.....When will my skin stop pealing?
4. I didn't shave under my arms today. I wonder if anyone can tell?
5. Do I wear to much perfume? I wear the same perfume every day and I think that I have become one of those old ladies that wears to much perfume but doesn't realize it because I have become immune to the smell.
6. Why don't some of my male co-workers wax or pluck stray eyebrow, nose, and ear hair?
7. Do their wives not notice this stray hair?
8. Why does my 45 year old co-worker hate women soooooooo much but still live with his mom?
9. I hate cafeteria food!
10. People who wear spandex in the work place should be locked up.
11. Can you really sexually harasses someone if you have not been to sexual harassment training?
12. Why don't people wash their hands after they go to the bathroom? I am in the bathroom.....I can tell you who is washing and who is not. Do they not care that other people think they are nasty, non-hand washing freaks.
13. Do I have OCD?
14. Why do we have 4 layers of management but yet only 1 layer knows what's going on?
15. If I didn't show up to work tomorrow would anybody notice?
16. I need to clip my toe nails.
17. Target list...........
18. They are not using real meat in the cafeteria lunches......What is it? Will it eventually kill me?
19. I am going to chew my own arm off if this guys doesn't stop talking to me!
20. Why do they still make rectal thermometers?
21. I am going to throw-up thinking about sticking the rectal thermometer in my mouth......
22. Should I learn another language? Or....Should I just wait for everyone else to learn English?
23. What is e-bonix? Why can't I understand it?
24. I can't wait for Dancing with the Stars to come back on.
25. Why is it socially acceptable for African Americans and Europeans to not shave their legs but I have to shave my legs every day?
26. I am going to stop shaving my legs.
27. OH MY GOSH! I think I left the iron plugged in this morning!
28. Shastas (name changed for obvious reasons) hair got butchered. She should demand her money back from her hair dresser.

Just to let you know I do work. I just need to take little mental health breaks during the day.

Touch Down!

It has been forever since I have posted a blog. I just wanted to let those of you who read my blogs know that I am still alive.

Touch Down.......I have finally made it back to this country. Been touring Italy for the past two weeks. Just to let you know I have finally figured out why those Europens are so damn skinny. They walk everywhere and up hill!

Some thoughts after the trip:
1. American Airlines hates me. They lost my luggage going there and coming back. I landed Monday Morning and today (Friday) my luggage is supposed to show up.
2. Some people are just stupid. One of my planes was over weight so the airlines offered this lady a direct flight to London, $250, and a first class seat and the woman wouldn't take it. What kind of an idot is she? We were all cramped in couch and she liked it. What a crazy!
3. At the Vatican my aunt and I were walking behind this elderly preist. The next thing we know he farts (I swear to you that he left a little in his underwear) and then just keeps walking on like nothing happened. He had to be deaf because that was the loadest fart I have heard in ages. I laughed like a child again!
3. 325,000 of my dearest friends turned out the day I was at the Vatican, but I don't think they were there to see me.
4. Love the food.
5. The Tuscany region is the most beautiful country side I have ever seen in my entire life! I could have stayed at the winery forever, and not just because the wine was Fabulous either.
6. Michelangiolos David changed the way I veiw art. It is the most beautiful, wonderful, creative, ect. peice of sculpture I have ever seen. I was truely waiting for the statue to walk it was that life like.
7. Those Venicians need to buy a gun. Pegions everywhere! And they are not affraid of humans. If you ever go to Venice, get off that island and go to Buranno, a much more interesting island.
8. Milan......don't waist your time.
9. Loved the wine! Even brought some home with me.
10. The Alps are magnifciant!
11. Would take this trip again in a second!

In parting........Live every day to the fullest, you never know when tomorrow might not come.

First Ever

I have these two friends who have been telling me to go out and read their blogs and then create my own. Finally I did as they wished. Just let me tell you that I am going to enjoy reading about their lives on a regular basis.

I acutally just got off the phone with them. I am not sure if they will post about this or not, but while I was speaking with them Timbers 9 month old had already advanced to a first or second grade level. He was pulling Princess Peggys hair. Can you believe it! We all know that first and second graders hit/kick/pull hair of the girl or boy that they like. I am pretty sure that Timber will have her hands full with the little girl chaser.

Now......on to my Friday. I work with a diverse group of people. Within this diverse group is an elderly man who actually retired but then came back to work part-time. As a side note, this guy loves to harasse me every time I work with him. He actually asks if I need help doing a self breast exam then laughs like a dirty old man. Anyway, today the elderly gentleman walks over to an empty chair, leans against it, then just lets one rip! I am not sure that he heard the noise of the fart because he wears hearing aids and doesn't have them turned on all the time, or if he just chose to ignore the sound but either way he didn't leave any indication that he realized he had just fartted. As he is standing there everyone in the room starts to look around with the same question on their faces, you know the question "did he just do what I think he did?" Well the elderly gentlman walks out of the room and every busts out laughing that is until the smell starts to linger. It was definitely a deadly fart.

The moral of todays story is......once you get old you can fart in public all you want and it becomes socially exceptable.

I can't wait to get old!